Looking back at the past year has made me realize that 2012 has been the longest year of my life. I went through three crazy stages. It is amazing to see how much I’ve grown.

In the beginning of the year I felt as though I was lost. I was on the road to losing myself completely. It felt as though nothing held any substantial meaning. I was just there, filling up space. At the time I couldn’t accept that the problem was within myself. It was everything around me: the place, the people, and the lack of things to do. And now I realize all the time I wasted doing absolutely nothing but barely existing. Eventually I reached a crossroad.  One way would take me on a whole new level of destruction, and the other was a chance to fix things.

It’s not every day you’re given the chance to start over: to fix things easily. So I decided to try and take advantage of this opportunity. It felt like my life was at a standstill. And I have written about the frustration of the standstill in previous posts. If I wanted positive results I was going to have to wait and fight for it to happen. I took the time to reflect over my life, I had to ask myself a few questions. “What are my values? Morals? Beliefs? What do I stand for? Am I willing to just sit here and let life drag me along, or am I going to take control over my life and take myself to the places I want to reach?” I wish finding answers to those questions was all that it took, but answers just weren’t enough. I had to find a way to start working towards my answers. And to keep pushing forward regardless of all failed attempts. That part of my life taught me patience, and I’m still learning.

Eventually I left the “waiting place” and I finally started to find myself. Everyone is entitled to a future, but they have to be willing to fight for what they want. I started working towards my dreams. The last few months have been amazing. I started getting involved and I became a part of things I never imagined I would be a part of.

2012 taught me that it is okay to dream big, and to chase after them. It is important to take a leap of faith every now and then, and to trust that your future will catch you. It’s okay to be put out of your comfort zone if it means exploring new things and expanding the greatness that can be a part of your life.

For the first time, I am happy with what I am doing, but more importantly I am happy with who I am becoming.

Dwell in possibility

                      -Emily Dickinson

2013 – I’m ready